I wanted to pause from sharing my journey towards healing with you and let you know that once you decide to start healing, you will face another fight.
You see, the enemy wants to do whatever he can to push you down. And he wants to keep you there. The enemy wants you to feel isolated and ashamed. So if you are feeling these things, please know that you don’t have to own it. And know that he has already been defeated.
Our God is a Father who gives grace and forgiveness to everyone who asks for it. There is nothing you could possibly do to change how He feels for you.
The enemy is going to tell you that you don’t deserve forgiveness. That you can’t possibly be loved. That you’ve messed up and its beyond repair.
IT ISN’T TRUE.
You are freely given forgiveness, you just have to ask for it. And then you have to forgive yourself. Count it as a lesson learned, decide to do better and move on.
You are loved so much more than you can ever imagine. So loved. Even when you don’t feel lovable, or are pushing people away. You are loved. Without condition.
And you are never beyond repair. He will always find a way to bring your brokenness into a place of beauty.
If you go back and read my previous posts, you know I’ve faced some hard times. And I know without a doubt I will face more. I am an imperfect human who will absolutely find a way to get myself into trouble some way.
And if you’ve read my story, you also know that no matter what thing I managed to face, whether it be of my own making or not, I was never alone.
Before I even fully accepted the love of Jesus in to my heart, He was there. He was right beside me. And He redeemed my mistakes.
He allowed me to see the beauty in my broken. And He sees the beauty in yours.
You are going to be fighting a fight when you draw closer to God. When you work to heal.
The enemy is crafty. And hateful. And wrong. He’s desperate to have your heart because he knows at the end, he loses.
Love will always win. The dark can be defeated by even the tiniest flicker of light. A single strike of a match can chase away the darkness. And with Jesus on your side, you have access to an entire lighthouse, not just a match.
The invisible fight doesn’t have to be waged by you. The more you draw closer to Him, the more you drive away the enemy. The more you surround yourself with His word and people who will lift you up when you can’t, the more you drive away the enemy. The more you trust that God has already won, the more power to take back.
Friend, I pray that as you seek Him, that you would truly allow yourself to feel the love and forgiveness He so freely offers. That you would lean in to him each time that you feel less than. He designed you on purpose, for a purpose, and that purpose is good. And every blunder that you’ve made along the way will be redeemed.
If your steps are faltering and you are having hard time talking to God, reach out to someone you trust and let them stand in the space. When I have a hard time articulating, but still need to pray, I will repeat “Jesus” until my heart has been quieted. He has so much power, that even just His mighty name has the power to chase away the darkness.
I would love to hear your story. I would be honored to lift you up in prayer if you need someone. I don’t need the details, just to know that you need prayer. He has all the details He will ever need. Leave me any message you can, and feel safe to, and I will put you on my prayer list.
Heavenly Father, I know that you are the God of love, grace and forgiveness. I know that you loved me, had a plan for me, and designed me before you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I pray that you would fill our hearts with your voice so that there is no room for the enemy. I pray your armor would protect me from any voice other than yours. And I pray that I would feel Your presence as I walk closer to you and do not get distracted. I pray that you would help me to truly heal and walk forward confident in Your love and power leading me. In faith I pray. Amen.
Soul to Sole Living 